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Monday, April 03, 2006

Something funny

HOW TO WRITE ENGLISH GOOD

1. Just between you and I case is important.
2. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
3. Don't use no double negatives.
4. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with. (or as Sir Winston Churchill once said; "This is the type of nonsense up with I will not put!").
5. It is always good practice to never split infinitives.
6. About sentence fragments.
7. Don't write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
8. When one is writing, it is important to maintain your point of view.
9. Proofread your work. Do not tolerate mispellings!
10 Watch out for irregular verbs which have croped into the language.
11 Don't say the same thing more than once. It's redundant and repetious.
12 If the writer is considerate of the reader, he won't have a problem with ambiguous sentences.
13 This sentence no verb.
14 You should be aware of the conditional case if you was to use it.
15 The smothering of verbs is a cause of the weakening of the sentence impact.
16 Avoid the utilization of enlarged words when shortened ones will do.
17 Perform a functional iterative analysis on your work to root out third generation transitional buzz words.
18 Make sure you hyp-henate properly.
19 Sentences should be written in the active voice when giving instructions, so that the subject of the action can be identified clearly.
20 Avoid the use of dyed-in-the-wool cliches.
21. The defacto use of foreign phrases vis-a-vis plain English in your written tete-a-tetes makes the sentence harder to understand.
22 Continuity of thought, logical development and smooth transitions are important. Never leave the reader guessing.
23 Beware of malapropisms. They are a communist submersive plot.
24 Join clauses good like a conjunction should.
25 Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
26 It has come to our considered attention that in a large majority of cases, far too many people use a great deal more words than is absolutely necessary when engaged in the practice of writing sentences.
27. Be careful of dangling participles writing a paper.

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